I have found that many people have no idea what a soul mate is.  Many believe that a soul mate has to be someone of the opposite sex who we either fall in love with, or whom we have a romantic relationship.

The truth is, we all have soul mates and in fact, most people have several.

So far in my life, I have been blessed enough to know some of mine.  I am sure there are others which I have yet to meet or I may never recognize on this journey.

We all travel throughout our different lifetimes with a certain group of people who are called our “soul family”. 

We often have the same members of our family unit in each lifetime and we may play different roles at different times, but the love that is shared between members of a soul group grows stronger over time, although sometimes that love is tested in ways we didn’t expect.

But an actual soul mate feels different.  Some are with us the majority of our lives and others only a short time.  The important thing is to recognize who they are and what we are to learn from each other in order to help us on our soul’s journey.

For instance, I have several siblings, and although I love each of them and have connected with all of them at some point on a certain level, I have an extremely close bond with one sister, that goes well beyond being close friends and knowing each other well. 

She and I both have memories of living in Italy, in another time.  Now I for one have never been to Italy in this current lifetime but have always felt a connection to the place and a deep inner knowing as if something was pulling me to go there.

My sister has been there and expressed on many occasions, not only how she loved it there, but what an odd feeling it was for her.  More than a déjà vu, it was as if she knew what was around every corner, the way only a person who lived there would know.

My relationship with this sister is a very strong connection, which feels different from any other.  We have the same taste in nearly everything.  We have the same ideas and often finish each other’s sentences.    We have a special place we like to go together.  It’s in the mountains and it’s a place where we both feel very connected.  We often sit in what would be an uncomfortable silence to some, as we look out at the majestic mountains and wildlife.  What most people wouldn’t realize, is that during what others hear as silence, the two of us are having a conversation without every “speaking” a word. J

There are some people I meet and I instantly recognize that I have known them in a previous incarnation.

My sister has a very close friend, Susie, who I had never met in person until earlier this year.  She is one of those that I recognize from a previous time.  I had known “of” her but never seen her.  I had felt a connection to her spiritually for some time, but when I was able to meet her face to face, and to look into her eyes, I immediately knew that I have known her much longer than I realized.  The past life memories were right there, in her eyes.  I do believe she has been part of my life, as well as my sisters' life, in other incarnations.  Perhaps in Italy. J

What made the feeling for me even more validating is that after I left, she told my sister how she felt like she has known me for a long time…there was a soul connection between us.

My Husband is not only my soul mate, but I know I chose him many lifetimes ago.  I must have recognized him early on this time, because I chased the hell out of him when we were dating, determined that he was mine and I never gave up.  Apparently, I must have been right because with all of the boulders and road blocks people threw in our way to keep us apart, we are still together 27 years later.

There is something so perfect about being married to your soul mate.  When you know each other on a level that is so sacred and whole and you know with everything you are, it’s eternal.  It’s his embrace that softens this tough outer shell that I wear, and it’s the way he looks at me that makes me weak in the knees.  It is a love unlike any other. 

Most of my life, my closest friends have all been male.  Some people automatically think that you can’t have a close relationship with a member of the opposite sex without there being some sort of sexual relationship in the mix.  The truth, for me at least, is that I never had any brothers, so there is that brotherly male connection that was probably lacking from all the years growing up with so many females in the house. 

Some of my best friends are part of my soul group.
One has already passed away but he continues to visit me on a regular basis and I still have conversations with him, not much unlike the ones we had before.  Jim and I had a unique bond which allowed us to “read” each other and know what was going on inside.  We both had a sense of "protection" for each other.  His intimidating size and physical strength always made me feel safe in his presence, while my gift of healing offered him emotional strength and protection.

One of my very best friends, and one of my favorite people I have ever known in my life is Warren.  He was a massage therapist in our building when he walked into my office one day and offered to help me with my migraines.  We became good friends almost instantly and I knew very soon that he was a soul mate.  That was over 25 years ago.  I have a connection to him that I don't have with anyone else. He is a man of high intelligence and a gifted intuitive.  He is the only person who ever challenged me. I wasn't able to simply make a statement about something I liked or disliked.  He wanted to know why.  He made me think about my response.  He made me look deeper.  He made me see myself through his eyes.  He gave me a greater understanding of the world and of myself.   He made this world a better place.  He made me a better person.  I love you Warren.


One lives thousands of miles across the country.  Each time I talk with him, it’s a comfort to me.  He is like a warm blanket on a cold day.  A long distance hug. One of the few people I trust my life with.  Michael and I have only seen each other in person once. How’s that for recognizing a soul mate!

There is something so comforting about being with a member of your soul group.  You don’t have to pretend to be something different than what you are.  You don’t have to worry about what you say or what stupid thing you do, they are right there, laughing at you, supporting you, loving you without judgment.  Trust me, this last one is huge when you are a Medium, living in an area where the majority of people instantly label you as evil, wicked or crazy.  A soul mate looks into your soul and knows you in a way others cannot.

When I realized another soul mate, it took me by surprise.  My husband’s side of the family is a place where I never felt comfortable, never fit in and for many years, never really felt all that welcome.  Some were better than others, but it was never a warm and fuzzy kind of feeling.   Besides the fact that I am a strong, independent woman who never wanted children (shame on me) there were always the other comments.  I was too fat; too head strong and too committed to my own sense of values.  So this whole “seeing dead people thing” made it even harder, resulting in my keeping it secret from them until the past couple of years.

I don’t believe in coincidences.  I am a firm believer in the saying “Everything happens for a reason”.  I saw evidence of that when I reluctantly ended up hiring one of my husband’s cousins to work for me several years ago.  After a short while of spending time with her, it was obvious to me, that she was one of my soul group.  She was the bright shining light that replaced the dark, angry, bitterness, with love and laughter and acceptance.  She has helped me tear down walls and fences, while standing beside me, supporting me and understanding my hesitations and resistance.  Because of Wendi, I have taken steps to build relationships.  She has helped me learn to forgive.

So take a few moments and evaluate those relationships in your life.  Are there certain people who make you feel better just being in their company?  Are there people who you are drawn to and you just want to spend time with them, regardless of what you do or where you go?  Those people may be your soul mates or part of your soul group. You will know in your soul who they are.