I have had an overwhelming number of people reach out to me recently, many with the same question: “Where are you?”

I admit I have been absent from public life for awhile, but I assure you, I am still here.

Being a full time caregiver, my priorities are focused on the one person that needs me the most and everyone and everything else, comes after that.

This time of year is exceptionally hard for a lot of us.  It is suppose to be a special time for laughter and joy and memories and lights and food and candy and time spent with those we love.

But what happens when someone you love so much, is not here?  When people you love have left this physical world and you are left with sadness and a heavy heart that certainly doesn’t feel anything like celebrating or laughter or twinkling lights and entertaining guests.  It makes sense why Mediums get so many people asking, sometimes begging for a reading this time of year.  They want anything, even if it’s just a message…just a small sign that they are still here with us.

I had a relative come through to me not long ago.  He said that he never imagined how amazing it is there.  He wanted to make sure his family knew that he is happy and safe and somewhere that was so incredibly beautiful, so wonderful, that we can’t even begin to imagine it.

The truth is, I have never doubted that.  I have always known that they get the better part of the deal when they leave.  They no longer have pain or sadness or physical struggles and they get to continue to be with us, unseen, unheard, but still near.  It is us who have the pain and regrets and struggle to go on in a world without them.  All the while you are trying to put together a life with pieces of the puzzle missing.  I don’t believe that it’s a selfish thing or ego to wish they were still here.  I can’t say that it’s just a human emotion because it’s our soul that feels the loss, the emptiness.  Every stressful decision we are faced with, we feel we are making alone and end up with fear and confusion and suddenly you are like an innocent child just wanting them to take you by the hand and lead you, but they can’t.  This is where your journey becomes your own and while they can’t tell you which way to go at that fork in the road, they can follow along as you lead, wherever it takes you.  They are never far away.

So if this Christmas holiday finds you grieving the loss of a loved one, here are a few things you should know.

Don’t do more than you can handle.  When we are sad, people often try to get us out of the house to cheer us up.  They invite us to parties and other celebrations.  They mean well and you might even feel like doing it, but if you truly do not, that is ok. Don’t let anyone force you to do something you are not yet comfortable doing.  Just kindly let them know that it isn’t something you are ready for at this time. But don’t be completely against trying. Don’t close yourself off.

Don’t over indulge in alcohol or drugs or anything that can alter your mood.  This often makes things much worse and can cause a whole bucket of problems you haven’t even thought of.

Sometimes, doing something in your loved ones memory can be healing for you.  Even if it’s just to light a candle and say a prayer.  Perhaps an item of theirs or something that reminds you of them can be put in a special place as an acknowledgment of their existence, and their role in your life’s journey.

Music.  Oh, it can be so difficult to listen to music when you are grieving.  For some it is very healing and for others it’s like ripping their heart out of their chest.  I can tell you that my Dad has come to me several times and told me that there isn’t enough music in our home and that I need to play it more.  So we try.  Some days are easier than others but I guarantee, if you do it with the knowing in your heart that they want you to be happy, you will find that those songs bring back happy memories and you will see their smiling face in your mind and you will feel that peace and calm that they are trying so desperately to help you feel.

Lastly, if you find yourself really struggling, don’t be alone.  Reach out to someone, whether it’s a friend, neighbor or family member.  If you are alone and don’t have anyone, there are hotlines you can call and clergy and churches that will welcome you and have people who would love to talk with you.

Above all, know that our loved ones never really leave us.  Talk to them.  They know what is going on in your life.  They know what you are feeling.

To all of you, who have patiently been waiting for a reading, thank you for not giving up on me.  I will be back to taking appointments soon.  I needed to take this break from readings to help take care of my family and to take care of myself.

I wish you all a blessed Merry Christmas.  May you all have a safe and peaceful holiday and I hope each of you are able to have joy in the days ahead. 

 

With Love,

Judy