Judgment

 

A little over 5 years ago, my best friend passed away.  “My Jimmy”, as I always called him, was a good looking, strong, talented man, who had charisma like no one else.  He had a beautiful body and a beautiful spirit and when he walked into a room, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him.   He had more friends than anyone I have ever known, but for me, Jimmy was my best friend.

He was the first person on the scene when someone needed help and he gave of himself more than most people knew.  He was a terrific Father to his little girl and he tried so hard to be the best son, brother, friend, the best person he could be.  But he had his demons.  I don’t mean that in the literal sense, but he had his battles with addiction. 


I had not known him all of my life.  We met through the company that he, my husband and I worked for.  We became friends very quickly and often talked about the feeling we each had of having known each other “forever”. 

There were so many things I loved about him which surprisingly were the same things others despised in him lol.   He was so different from anyone I had ever known.  He could be crude and outspoken.  He had a temper that could remove a layer of hide and make paint peel, and yet, was so sweet and funny and at times, like a lost child. 

And oh…”he was popular with the ladies.” lol

Jim and I could talk about anything, including life after death.

We often talked about what we believe happens when you die and about the ability to communicate with the souls in the afterlife, and although we didn’t discuss my gift on a regular basis, he knew.  He knew before any of my other friends knew, because he was the one person I trusted with it.  I knew Jimmy would never judge me because he had been judged by so many.  But there was something else I knew.  I knew he was going to leave this world and I wouldn’t have him in my life for long.   I just didn’t know is that it was going to happen so soon.

 

He was a good man who made some bad decisions.  And those who have never battled an addiction and don’t understand the choices a person makes when they have this illness, well, they can judge you pretty hard.  The thing is, Jim was a good man and in fact, a better person than those I knew, who continually judged him. And because I stood beside him and tried to give him love and support, I too became judged by the same people.  What they didn’t understand, was that I didn’t care what they thought of me. I still don’t.

 

Having this ability doesn’t allow me to know every dark secret a person is hiding, but it does allow me to see things and know things about other people and their character.

I don’t believe anyone is a “lost cause”, as they often classified Jim, and to describe him by his weaknesses….. Well…. those were fightin words for me!

A few years before he passed, he had overcome his addictions and was working on creating the life he always wanted.  He called me one afternoon to tell me how happy he was, and that things were going well for him and he wanted to share that with me.   Then, just days after that phone call, he wasn’t feeling well.  He lay down in bed and went to sleep. He never woke up.


Jim has told me that he had an aneurysm in his brain which caused him to pass.  He believes it was caused by weakening of his blood vessels from his years of alcoholism and abuse of prescription pain killers.  He didn’t want to leave this world and had so much life left in him, but it wasn’t his decision to make.

Although I lost his physical presence, I am blessed that I can still see him and communicate with his spirit.  He often laughs at me when I get riled up over something in regard to him and his laugh echoes through my soul.  He also knocks on my bedroom door.  That is so like him to think that is funny.


He often stands at my front door, arms folded, in protection of me.  I always felt safe when I was with him.  He had a presence, a large, strong, intimidating presence. He still does, and I still feel safe when he is around.  Since his passing, I have learned why we felt as if we had known each other forever.  It has been explained and shown to me that we have shared other incarnations together and he is part of my soul group or “Soul family”.


I also understand why he was such a significant part of my life and the lessons I was to learn from him and his life.


I don’t claim to know how it works when you pass or where you go and what you get to experience but I do know one thing, God has not judged my Jimmy by his addictions and the poor choices he made.  God welcomed him home and has given him the blessings he deserves. God saw the goodness in his heart and knew how hard he tried to get it right.


Because I respect him and the information he has shared with me, I will not discuss details of his blessings.  But I do believe that those who judged him in this life will have a rude awakening when it’s their time to depart.

“Judge not, lest ye shall be judged”.


He used to laugh and tell me that I was loyal like a dog because I loved him unconditionally.  He couldn’t believe that I was there, no matter what he did, no matter what time of day or night, I was there, picking up the pieces, helping him realize his worth.


Every phone call ended the same way, just as his visitations to me now.  “I love you Darlin” he says.  And my reply is always the same.  “Like a dog Jimmy, like a dog”.